Couple Highlight: John and Katie

This post is part of the series, “Couple Highlights.” Each Couple Highlight was originally shared in the Improving Intimacy in Latter-Day Saint Relationships Facebook Group, which is a private group. In order to share these posts publicly on danielaburgess.com, explicit written consent was granted by each couple.

Couple Highlights began on the Facebook Group as a way to hear about the growth happening for couples in the group, and to give them an opportunity to share their story--their marriage journey, where they are at, and the challenges they’ve overcome.

Hey! We’re John and Katie Salmond. We have been married for almost 15 years. We both grew up in homes where we were not educated about sex. Shame was paramount in my home in particular (Katie). We were lucky to read a few books during our engagement that helped us identify our cultural and parental taught shame around sexuality and fight against it. We have been quite lucky that we have not had tons of shame around our sex life. Sexuality and intimacy groups are a place for me to find my people, learn, get ideas of fun things to try and get recommendations about books.

We have experienced a few health challenges that have shaped our intimacy and sex life though.

We have had long-term infertility. Facing the possibility of never having children, re-imagining our family structure and navigating intimacy crushing treatments has bound us, helped us to turn inward as a couple and strengthened us. Our life became about us as a couple and being fulfilled and putting our relationship first. When we did have our one son, our couple relationship has remained our priority.

We have also worked to manage the challenges that mental illness brings. John has drug-resistant depression resulting in low/no desire. I had postpartum anxiety with intrusive thoughts. It has made it so we have had to very clearly communicate wants and desires, schedule sex and stick to each other. Our couplehood is our home base. It’s what has gotten us through so much.