Latter-day Saints
"The best way to avoid divorce from an unfaithful, abusive, or unsupportive spouse is to avoid marriage to such a person. If you wish to marry well, inquire well. Associations through 'hanging out' or exchanging information on the Internet are not a sufficient basis for marriage. There should be dating, followed by careful and thoughtful and thorough courtship. There should be ample opportunities to experience the prospective spouse’s behavior in a variety of circumstances" (Dallin H. Oaks, "Divorce," Ensign, May 2007, 70–73).
All right, fellow Latter-day Saints, let’s have a talk about sexual sins and how we react to them. This is all brought on by this week's Come Follow Me lesson on Alma 39, which has been used as the preeminent scriptural text on how serious sexual sins are. I'm talking about Alma 39:5 "Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?" This verse has traditionally been used to equate sexual immorality next to murder.
Twice a year we have the wonderful privilege of hearing from our leaders to receive spiritual guidance and counsel. Each year the messages of these amazing men and women seem to have a greater impact on my life. Maybe you're like me and sometimes feel they prepared their message specifically for you. Conference is a spiritual feast that nourishes your soul when so many other responsibilities and life tax your soul.
As Latter-day Saints, we can apply Carl Gustav Jung's wisdom to our relationships, seeking to enhance intimacy and personal growth by acknowledging and integrating the aspects of ourselves that we may be resisting. Resistance is a normal human response to change, discomfort, or perceived threats, often appearing as avoidance, denial, or procrastination. By resisting or suppressing the negative aspects of ourselves, we inadvertently give them more control over our lives and impact our LDS relationships.
However, embracing and confronting our resistance can lead to personal growth and increased intimacy in our relationships. By acknowledging, understanding, and accepting the aspects of ourselves that we have been resisting, we can foster self-awareness, compassion, and a deeper understanding of our true selves. Cultivating self-awareness, approaching our shadow with curiosity and compassion, discovering healthy ways to express and explore our shadow, and endeavoring to incorporate our shadow into our self-concept are some steps to welcome the shadow and nurture personal growth in LDS couples.
By acknowledging and integrating the shadow, we can transform resistance into growth, ultimately leading to more balanced and fulfilling lives and LDS relationships. As Latter-day Saints, embracing our resistance can be an invaluable catalyst for change and self-discovery in our journey to improve LDS relationship intimacy.