Category: Marriage & Relationship Skills
Communication, conflict, connection, and the practical skills of a strong marriage.
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How to Find the Right Therapist (Without Getting Lost in the Alphabet Soup)
Finding a therapist is strange work. You’re supposed to evaluate a profession you’ve never worked in, decode license acronyms nobody explains, and somehow judge “fit” before you’ve said a word to anyone. One of the earliest episodes of Improving Intimacy was devoted to exactly this, and it remains one of the questions I’m asked most.…
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How Online Couples Therapy Works — Even When You’re in Different Places
Some of the most common questions I get before a first session aren’t about the therapy — they’re about the logistics. Does online couples therapy actually work? Do we have to be on the same couch? What if one of us travels, or we’re living apart right now? Here’s how it works in practice. Does…
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When Sexual Boundaries Feel Like Rejection
One partner says: “I’m not comfortable with that.” The other hears: “I don’t trust you. I don’t want you. There’s something wrong with what you want.” A boundary was set; a rejection was received. This gap — between what a boundary is and what it feels like — quietly runs some of the most painful…
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My Partner Won’t Come to Therapy — Can I Still Change Our Marriage?
Yes — and it’s one of the best-kept secrets in couples work. A licensed marriage therapist on why one motivated partner can genuinely shift a marriage.
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Its Not Your Fault: When Couples Counseling and Coaching Doesn’t Work
You’re not a failure, and it’s not your fault. Even if you and your partner have consulted the best relationship coaches and marriage therapists, it’s not your fault that intimacy didn’t improve or faded over time. It’s tempting to point fingers or take the blame, but the reality is that more often than not, couples…
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Happiest Marriages
Anonymous Question Series: Q: What kind of marriage partnerships have you seen are the the happiest? Give some examples of how they work through times of disagreement or misunderstanding. A: The quick answer: Couples who know how to adore versus accept. These couples learn how to be okay with the “messy” of each other. Those who…
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Marital Myth Of Communication
Marital Myth of Communication: It’s never about communication. My hope in this piece is to address a mistaken idea that if an individual (or both) in a relationship will improve their “communication skills” they will save and improve their marriage. It’s my belief that this idea has become popular among both therapists and couples because…
Where this conversation continues
The blog is what I can say publicly. Inside the Inner Circle there are members-only essays and five private forums where the taboo questions get honest, clinically accurate answers — from $19 a month. Or work through Improving Intimacy: The Course at your own pace, $197 once. Open to anyone, anywhere; you don’t need to live in a state where I’m licensed.