Faith Transition Counseling

A faith transition is one of the most destabilizing experiences an adult can go through — it can reshape your marriage, family, friendships, identity, and sense of the future all at once. I’m Daniel A. Burgess, LMFT. I’ve lived this transition myself after forty-plus years in the Church, and I provide counseling with no agenda for your faith: not to keep you in, not to walk you out.

Where people usually are when they call me

• Quietly questioning, and terrified of what happens to your marriage and family if you say it out loud.
• Already out — and grieving community, certainty, and a version of yourself you didn’t expect to miss.
• The believing spouse — blindsided, scared, and wondering if your eternal family just dissolved.
• A mixed-faith couple negotiating garments, tithing, baptisms, coffee, Sundays — and resentment on both sides.
• Somewhere in between: one foot in for family, one foot out for integrity, exhausted by the split.

All of these are normal positions in a process that millions of people are quietly navigating. What makes it dangerous to a marriage isn’t the belief change itself — it’s the panic, the pressure campaigns, and the conversations that never get had well.

What faith transition counseling involves

For individuals, we work through the grief and identity reconstruction a transition demands: who you are without the framework that defined you, what values you keep, how to handle family and ward relationships, and how to rebuild meaning — religious or otherwise. For couples, the work is learning to be married across a belief difference: de-escalating the fear on both sides, negotiating the practical decisions (kids, ordinances, money, Sundays) without scorekeeping, and protecting intimacy while the ground shifts. Mixed-faith marriages can absolutely thrive — but usually not by accident.

Because faith transitions so often surface long-buried sexual shame, this work frequently connects with religious trauma and purity culture recovery and couples therapy. We’ll build the combination that fits your situation.

Why “no agenda” is the whole point

Most resources in this space have a side. Faithful counselors may treat your questions as a problem to solve; ex-member communities may treat your spouse’s belief as the problem. Neither helps a marriage. I’ve been the believing spouse and the questioning one; I’ve held callings and I’ve stepped away. That history isn’t a credential by itself — but combined with clinical training, it means I can sit with both of you without needing either of you to change your mind.

Practical details

Sessions are 50 minutes over secure video. Therapy is available to clients in California, Utah, and Idaho; coaching is available worldwide — and faith-transition work is often well suited to coaching when trauma isn’t at the center. We start with a free 15-minute consultation to figure out the right fit, and I’ll tell you honestly if I’m not it.

Frequently asked questions

Can a mixed-faith marriage really work?

Yes — many do, and some come out stronger. The predictors aren’t shared belief; they’re respect, curiosity, negotiated agreements, and both partners giving up the project of converting each other.

I’m the believing spouse. Are you going to side with my partner?

No. Your grief is as real as their deconstruction, and your faith gets the same respect in my office as their doubt. The goal is a marriage that holds both of you — not a winner.

Should we tell the kids? The ward? The in-laws?

These are strategy questions with real trade-offs, and we work through them deliberately — timing, wording, boundaries, and how to present a united front even where you differ.

Is this therapy or coaching?

Either, depending on what’s underneath. If depression, anxiety, or trauma are part of the picture, therapy (CA/UT) is the right container. If you mainly need a skilled, neutral third party for navigation, coaching works from anywhere. We’ll decide together on the consult call.

Do you work with people leaving other high-demand religions?

Yes. My deepest specialization is the Latter-day Saint world, but the mechanics of transition — grief, identity, family strain, community loss — are similar across high-demand faiths, and I work across that spectrum.

What does it cost?

Fees depend on the service and format; we’ll review them during your free 15-minute consultation.