A self-paced course for individuals — married, dating, divorced, or single — that moves you from managing your relationship to genuinely connecting in it. Ten modules, one unlocked each week, with daily Growth Opportunity (G.O.) exercises of 20–30 minutes. Built by Daniel A. Burgess, LMFT, from 25 years of clinical work with couples.
Because this course works on you as an individual, it does not require your partner’s participation to begin working.
Module 0 — Welcome & Orientation
Start here: how the course works, whether it’s the right tool for you right now, and your baseline Intimacy Compass.
Lessons
0.1 Welcome 0.2 How This Course Works 0.3 Is This Course Right for You, Right Now? 0.4 Your Starting Point: The Intimacy Compass 0.5 Not Married? Not in a Relationship? Start AnywayModule 1 — Why Nothing Has Worked (Yet)
Why the resources you’ve tried keep wearing off — and why that was never your fault.
Lessons
1.1 “Aren’t There Already a Lot of Books About Marriage?” 1.2 Book Speak 1.3 The Fairness Trap 1.4 Heal the Individual G.O. 1 — Your Resource HistoryModule 2 — Define Your Destination
If the goal isn’t “less fighting,” what is it? Build a specific picture of the relationship you want — and learn to measure successes, not failures.
Lessons
2.1 The Dream Vacation Parable 2.2 The Four Myths of Love 2.3 Measure Successes, Not Failures 2.4 Sign-Seeking G.O. 2 — The Miracle Question + DRAINModule 3 — The Pull of the Familiar
Emotional Homeostasis: the invisible force that pulls good people back into unhealthy, predictable patterns.
Lessons
3.1 Why Good People Stay Stuck 3.2 What Value Does That Behavior Give You? 3.3 The Family You Came From G.O. 3 — Homeostasis Self-AwarenessModule 4 — Reclaim Yourself
Authenticity, identity, and values: you fell in love as individuals — it’s time to meet yourself again.
Lessons
4.1 Two Questions 4.2 Do You Know Who You Are? 4.3 Recognize Your Pattern 4.4 Why We Avoid Joy G.O. 4 — Grounding + ValuesModule 5 — Face Your Fears
Fear, not love, orders most of our choices. Learn to find your fears, own them, and stop handing them to your partner.
Lessons
5.1 Fear or Love: What Actually Drives You? 5.2 Half Dome 5.3 Fear Wearing Love's Clothing 5.4 The Downward Arrow Midpoint Check-In: Your Compass G.O. 5 — Discovering Your FearsModule 6 — Self-Care Is Relationship Care
Self-sacrifice without self-care is self-betrayal. The priorities-list diagnostic, and what fear does to your list.
Lessons
6.1 Self-Sacrifice vs. Self-Care 6.2 The Priorities List 6.3 Fear Orders the List G.O. 6 — Your ListModule 7 — See Your Partner Clearly
Assuming the best as the antidote to sign-seeking — and Daily Adore: viewing differences with adoration instead of management.
Lessons
7.1 The Stories We Tell About Each Other 7.2 The Antidote to Sign-Seeking 7.3 Daily Adore G.O. 7 — The Generous Interpretation LogModule 8 — Connect Without Book Speak
The communication payoff: tools that finally work because of the individual work you’ve done.
Lessons
8.1 Why This Isn't Just Another Communication Technique 8.2 The Four Traps 8.3 The Four Cs + Love 8.4 Repair: Leveraging the Mess G.O. 8 — The Empathy ExchangeModule 9 — Live It
Your Compass then and now, a relapse-prevention plan for when homeostasis comes calling, and your next chapter.
