Category: Pornography, Behavior & Trust
Pornography conflict, betrayal recovery, and rebuilding trust without shame.
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Divine Self-Mastery: Why the All-or-Nothing Approach to Pornography Keeps Failing — and What Works Instead
This article is adapted from a presentation I’ve given to clinicians, church leaders, and families on my clinical approach to pornography concerns — the framework behind my book project Divine Sexuality. One caveat I always give in person belongs here too: what follows is drawn from a decade of clinical observation, not controlled research. I…
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Why Most LDS Pornography Problems Are Really About Shame
When LDS individuals and couples come to therapy around pornography, they often expect to work on “the addiction.” What they find is something more complex — and more hopeful: the…
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Is Pornography Addiction Real? What the Research Actually Says
If you’ve grown up in an LDS or religious household, you’ve likely heard pornography described as an addiction — something that hijacks the brain like heroin, something shameful…
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Internet Filters, Apps and other Pornography Blockers
In this article The limitation with internet filters: 1. It’s impossible to filter just what you want to 2. Filters can’t cope with context and nuance 3. You can’t be clear about what you filter 4. It’s not as simple as blocking a website 5. Many children are more tech-savvy than their parents 6. There…
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Ten Years of Trying Everything: Katheryn Kirk’s Journey Out of Pornography and Shame (Full Interview)
Katheryn (Katy) Kirk spent ten years doing everything she was taught would work: daily scripture study, journaling, fasting, temple service, callings, honest conversations with a string of bishops, the ARP program, accountability texts with a friend. She was a temple worker and a Relief Society president — and she was privately fighting pornography and shame…
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Brett and Shendi Share Life Lessons | The Impact of Pornography on Marriage
Full Transcript: 0:00:00.7 Narrator: Welcome to Improving Intimacy, a podcast to help single and married Latter Day Saints strengthen their family connections and marriages. Daniel A. Burgess is the host of Improving Intimacy. Daniel’s a marriage and family therapist, father, husband and author. Here’s Daniel on this episode of Improving Intimacy. [music] 0:00:27.0 Daniel…
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Betrayal Trauma and Recovery
Betrayal trauma is disheartening and destructive. It is critical to be a trauma informed therapist when working with clients who have been abused. I will never forget the evening I met with ‘Devon’ and ‘Emma’, a couple seeking support for “communication issues.” The moment they sat in front of me I knew something wasn’t right.…
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Betrayal Trauma: Anarie’s Definition of Success
Donate In our last episode Anarie shares her experience with betrayal trauma. At the end of the interview I had stopped the recording just before she made another important and insightful comment. She apologized for not having a “success” story. Knowing that comment would lead into a valuable conversation I asked to continue recording and…
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LDS Women — Overcoming Pornography: The Opposite Of Addiction Is Connection
While reading “LDS Women — Overcoming Pornography: The Opposite Of Addiction Is Connection,” I saw this Ted Talk for the first time, and I had to write about it. It’s called “Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong,” by Johann Hari. Johann Hari discusses how rats that are isolated in a cage with…
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An Unspoken Struggle: LDS Women Addicted To Pornography
“So. I am an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and have been my entire life. My struggles with pornography began in 2003 out of a mix of boredom and curiosity. For years now, I have felt like one day I would share my experiences, and that from the things…
Where this conversation continues
The blog is what I can say publicly. Inside the Inner Circle there are members-only essays and five private forums where the taboo questions get honest, clinically accurate answers — from $19 a month. Or work through Improving Intimacy: The Course at your own pace, $197 once. Open to anyone, anywhere; you don’t need to live in a state where I’m licensed.